Since July 30, my entire family has been home - all five of us. My daughter spent the summer working in New Orleans and my middle son spent the summer taking Organic Chemistry in Virginia, my youngest home from rock and roll camps, beach trips, etc.
My daughter is a senior this fall at the University of Georgia and over the summer she returned to New Orleans where she first began her education at Loyola University New Orleans. Her first roommate (and roommate for life) is from Nola and when my daughter couldn't find a job in Athens (where UGA is located) her rommmate's mom suggested she come to Nola to work. Momma Michelle told my daughter that there were no people left in the city to work! So, my daughter went and went to work - waitressing in a Mexican food restaurant where she made almost $2,800 in 6 weeks. She lived with Momma Michelle and family. Momma Michelle and her family lost the bottom floor of their home during the floods of Katrina. The family lives in a trailer in their driveway while they try and rebuild their home so they can inhabit it again. Out of the 20-25 homes on their street/block only two homes have people living in them - really they are living in the driveways in trailers but it is still home. They were the lucky ones with insurance. No jobs for a while but now they are back working. The infrastructure of the city is still very sketchy. The devastation is still so obvious. The kids worked with the Loyola University student group to rebuild homes. It is extremely hot and humid and working outside is horribly difficult. Yet, some people are determined to rebuild their lives.
New Orleans is a very unusual city. For some people it means Bourbon Street and drinking to excess and "the girls gone wild" mentality. I promise I have never bared my chest to anyone after a night on the town in that City. For me, and now my daughter, Bourbon Street is the cheap, nasty part of the city. If you can walk down Bourbon Street without slipping or getting stuck on the pavement, it's either really early or a really slow night! To me, Nola is so many other things. Fabulous museums filled with southern art, fabulous art galleries with amazing naive art, voodoo houses, history, and fabulous food - barbecued oysters, redfish, muffulettas, and music, wonderful soulful, rocking music. One time when I had gone to pick my daughter up from Loyola, I took my bike and went on an early morning ride through the French Quarter. It was really early and I took a spill on Canal Street (front tire got rutted in the streetcar track) but it was one of the most fabulous rides I have ever taken. The French Quarter at 7:00 a.m. was alive with delivery people, workers sweeping off streets and store fronts...it was amazing. Such a rich culture and it has been in my soul for a very long time.
Anyway, the last two days have been spent moving my daughter into her new apartment. We worked like animals - it's hot and we lifted couches, beds, bookshelves. I even drove this ridiculous uhaul truck with only minimal air conditioning - it's 100 outside. Yesterday, I was sore and felt like I had been out drinking all night the night before - tired! It's bittersweet. She needs me more for my checkbook and American Express card than anything but I believe she appreciates me more as a person now than she ever has. But I am thrilled for her that she doesn't need me for too much anymore. She will graduate this spring and hopes to take a year off, travel the world (yes, yes) and go to law school - she wants to do some pro bono work. I am so excited for her, so excited that she is moving on into her own life. I don't have any regrets and I don't have any preconceived notions on how she should live her life. She is a fabulous, sensitive, beautiful young woman who knows her own heart and I think she is really learning how to work with her strengths and develop her weaknesses.
My middle child left the same day. He is on a fabulous road trip and experience. He and his friend from college are going to Maine to work for his friend's grandparents. They will stay and work for the grandparents until about three days before school starts, then they'll work their way back to Richmond and eventually to Salem, Virginia home of Roanoke College. I won't see my son until the 2nd week of September - he's coming home to pick up his drum set and his bike to take back to school. He assures me he will be coming home for Thanksgiving - I hope he doesn't get a better offer. He left Tuesday driving to Richmond, Virginia to his friend's home ( his first big road trip alone), then the boys drove from Richmond to Rhode Island on Wednesday. Today they complete their trip to Maine. This is his first big experience away from home without parents. But, he was so ready. He is a confident mature young man and has always seemed to know himself so much better than most kids his age. He started college in the Fall of 2005 - when he left, I knew he would not come home - not really anyway! And, I was right! His college choice suits him perfectly, he has done a play, pledged a fraternity, done a radio show (where he always plays a song for his mom), made good grades, decided to go to veterinary school, where he wants to go to study abroad. He has great friends and even when he went to school and didn't know a soul, he managed to find friends who are so much like him. He keeps his friends close - even the high school buddies. I have always been amazed at his ability to connect with people, his knack to find people who are so similar to him.
I have one more son at home - I'm glad he is still here. He's a musician and I worry so much about the path he is choosing - it's a tough environment out there as a musician. I know he wants to be successful and make great music - it is his passion. I worry about the drugs, the lack of longevity in some of the most incredibly talented people. I am always talking to him about how important it is to stay grounded, to surround yourself with the people you love and trust - family and good friends. He's 16 - still a ways off from touring the world. I hope I have been able to influence him enough with the emphasis in our lives on family and friends and faith, I hope he sees the value of those relationships and I hope he keeps them dear. It is one of the reasons I believe that U2 has been as successful as they are (without taking into consideration the fabulous music) - they keep their hands close to them, surrounded by lifelong friends and family and a strong faith. It doesn't get much stronger than that.
It's an absolutely remarkable feeling to see your kids grow into themselves. To see them learn to follow their passions and to believe in themselves. The most amazing thing in the world is when you see your kids becoming their own people - who they should be for themselves, as citizens of the world. I'm proud of them, the people they are becoming. Yes, there are times and there will be times when I really miss their daily presence in my life. I guess that pain will get easier as we move along.
Nancy
Thursday, August 10, 2006
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