My college classes started yesterday! I'm still in shock - the workload is going to be phenomenal. I am taking 5 classes - Macroeconomics, Intermediate Spanish, History of the World Since 1945, Comparative Politics, International Law and Organization. I'm worried - really worried. I have a ton of reading, one research paper, several short papers, more reading, Spanish verbs to learn.
Today on my way home from class I had one of those moments - still reeling from trying to figure out how I am going to manage all this work - where things were so clear. I listened to myself as I tried to talk myself out of being successful - you know that negative self-talk. And, it just dawned on me that I am my worst enemy in this situation. I have fabulous professors - they are engaged with what they are teaching and they are determined to engage my mind. Could this really be the turning point (of course it always happens right before you graduate, right) in my self-actualization? So, as I'm driving home, full of self doubt, for some reason, it occurs to me that I do really want to understand the economic rhythms of our society, that I do really want to be able to speak more than one language. So, in my mind, it all of a sudden becomes so clear - I want to embrace this opportunity, to be engaged, to learn to speak Spanish - to not worry about my success - my desire, my curiosity will fuel me. The peacefulness that took over was phenomenal - I am so settled now with this decision, so excited, again. So determined.
Off on another subject: Exercise. As a mature woman, I have found that I need to work out every day. It helps control my moods, my head, my weight...all those great things that you need help with as you "grow up." To that end, I try to workout at least five or six days a week. With a new schedule at school, I am trying to figure out how to keep my workouts in my schedule. My workouts include walking, biking (I really enjoy long distance biking and spin classes), doing the elliptical trainer, lifting weights. I try to swim and I would love to be able to run. Physically speaking, my goal is to participate in a sprint triathlon - they have them for women only - shorter distances all around. If I can get my head around the run (I may have to walk most of it) I will participate in some sort of event. I have also begun a new yoga and meditation series. The yoga is for my body and head, the meditation is for my soul! Yoga is great for athletes - lengthens my muscles and relieves the stress in my body. But, the meditation class - ah, that will be the key to all my success. My instructor always talks too much on the first night of class but what he said last night will stay with me for a very long time: Meditation helps you find that place in your soul that is just for you, that beautiful place that maybe has only been touched by a sunset, a smell, a song. Like when you are listening to music and you kind of go to that unbelievable place - as a musically oriented person, there are songs that move me to that place - like Clair de Lune, The Unforgettable Fire album by U2 moves me to that beautiful place...there are others. Meditation helps you to find that place without needing the external stimulation. I have chosen to be involved in the human rights area and sometimes I am overwhelmed by the kinds of problems I see within the groups I volunteer with - HIV/AIDS, poverty, starvation, war - have sometimes completely wiped me out physically, mentally and emotionally. I feel that I need that place to go to - this is trite, but that "happy place" deep inside my soul.
So, today I have worked out some really important things. I am happy! I am satisfied!
Nancy
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Tired Today
I'm tired today - tired of getting up early, tired of the hot weather, tired of arguing with my husband over whether or not we keep the twig teepee trees that are broken, spider infested, dusty, tired of the traffic on the road, tired of people who don't have a perspective on their lives and children, tired of trying to figure out what to fix the guys in my house for dinner, tired of cooking good food only to have the guys complain that it wasn't steak, that there aren't any good cookies in the house, tired of worrying and trying to control things that I do not have the ability to control, like if my son is going to do okay in Algebra II with the hell bitch for a teacher. tired of worrying why my daughter is so tired...
Tired of my "H" key being stuck and having to take twice as long to type my little stupid blogs...
I'm cranky too!
I must be horribly hormonal! Ha, ha - H2!
Maybe I should have forced myself to go to the gym this morning. Okay, tomorrow I have Lorna's bike class and if that doesn't get the crap out of my body, nothing will.
I'm scared too - my classes start next week and I'm afraid (as I always am) that I won't get a damned thing the professors are trying to teach us...that I won't make straight "A's" because that's what us type "A" anal people have to do in order to feel successful - hope that's not too scary to others.
Solution: I think I will take my dog out, go to the grocery store, buy steaks, come home and have a nice big glass of Pinot Grigio!!!!!!!!!! Maybe shots of tequila!!!
Who knows - properly lubricated, all this shit may just take a back seat and maybe I will find something more important to become mentally absorbed in so I stop feeling like this. Maybe a little U2 video, especially with my vase of wine!
Here's to getting over being tired, SOON!!!
Nancy
Tired of my "H" key being stuck and having to take twice as long to type my little stupid blogs...
I'm cranky too!
I must be horribly hormonal! Ha, ha - H2!
Maybe I should have forced myself to go to the gym this morning. Okay, tomorrow I have Lorna's bike class and if that doesn't get the crap out of my body, nothing will.
I'm scared too - my classes start next week and I'm afraid (as I always am) that I won't get a damned thing the professors are trying to teach us...that I won't make straight "A's" because that's what us type "A" anal people have to do in order to feel successful - hope that's not too scary to others.
Solution: I think I will take my dog out, go to the grocery store, buy steaks, come home and have a nice big glass of Pinot Grigio!!!!!!!!!! Maybe shots of tequila!!!
Who knows - properly lubricated, all this shit may just take a back seat and maybe I will find something more important to become mentally absorbed in so I stop feeling like this. Maybe a little U2 video, especially with my vase of wine!
Here's to getting over being tired, SOON!!!
Nancy
School Days and Brain Spazzes
Today was the first day of school for my 16 year old. He is a junior in high school -can I just say how incredibly weird that is? It seemed like, for such a long time, he was 5 years old, then all of a sudden he was 10 - now I am looking at a young man who needs to shave (at least once a week), who is taller than me, literally squeezes the air right out of me and who still will come tell me good night before he goes to bed. All of a sudden, he's a junior!!! He still doesn't drive but needs to take the SAT and the ACT! He is starting to think about going to college!
It's funny how my mind can progress from that thought to all the other thoughts I am going to write about but it started me thinking. Bear with me here!
So thinking about my youngest in school - his passion is music, he hates academics - he sings in the high school Men's Chorus, has been accepted to the Chamber Choir, plays bass guitar, some regular guitar, and just yesterday, talked me into renting a 3/4 stand up bass! On top of that, he is taking piano lessons! Musically interested and involved. Will that get him into college? If I start worrying now, maybe I won't be such a freak in a year! So, then thinking about music reminds me that last night he informed me that he has a paying gig for October 31! Then, he reminds me that he needs to practice with his other band this weekend! Wow! All this band talk and performance talk spins my little brain right out of control - he's only 16! So, my brain moves back to the fact that his grades have got to be good this year - this is when it counts. So, then I remember that my next door neighbor, the math tutor, told me that the Algebra teacher my son has is pretty weak - maybe I should go ahead and make arrangements for the tutor. Where will I put a tutor in the schedule, what will he have to sacrifice? What will I have to sacrifice?
Then my brain takes another small side trip - I forgot that I volunteered to be the secretary for the Chorus booster club - which means that I have a meeting tomorrow night. The volunteer stuff always makes me laugh because my kids think it's funny what parents do for their kids! I'm not an uber volunteer - but when I do volunteer, it's best to not run into the kids because they will be embarrassed. They get embarrassed when I am out in public and some man talks to me, or worse yet, flirts with me. That got me to thinking about how weird it must be for celebrity kids to deal with the fact that other people find their parents "sexy, hot." I can visualize the eye rolling that happens at my home, I can only imagine what happens at say, Bono and Ali Hewson's home! Mind you, I have always taken a very open approach to the embarrassing my kids deal - in my honest opinion, it is my right and privilege to be there for them. I mean, really! What a riot!
I too am a student - a college student - this semester I am taking 5 classes - what the hell was I thinking? So, after putting the young one on the bus, I went to my school to buy textbooks. $327.45 later (without the Spanish textbooks that I already own), I am the proud owner of several gently used textbooks. I start flipping through the economics textbook, and once again, I am thinking - what the hell was I thinking?
One more little brain leap later - I'm thinking that I really need to organize some speakers for events that I want to schedule for ONE, trying to figure out how to help the high school students get ONE into their schools...and, oh wait, I need to write my geography professor an e-mail about the geography club, send an e-mail to Heifer International about the pilot program I want to do at my school. I need chocolate and liquid caffeine!
Then my feeble and tired brain moves to the facts that I really need to get in a few more hours at work before classes start - maybe I can pay for my textbooks and some for the other kids in my house who go to college. Which reminds me that I must really be married to a saint to tolerate a peri/pre-menopausal wife who is a full time college student, a 21 year old daughter who also has some moderate hormonal issues, a 19 year old son (enough said) and another son who is going through puberty! God, the man is a saint! What the hell was he thinking?
Tonight yoga starts for the new session - I'm going to try and take the meditation class - will that keep my brain running simpler?
I thought it would be fun to let my brain run away from itself for a little while this afternoon. Kind of fun!
Nancy
It's funny how my mind can progress from that thought to all the other thoughts I am going to write about but it started me thinking. Bear with me here!
So thinking about my youngest in school - his passion is music, he hates academics - he sings in the high school Men's Chorus, has been accepted to the Chamber Choir, plays bass guitar, some regular guitar, and just yesterday, talked me into renting a 3/4 stand up bass! On top of that, he is taking piano lessons! Musically interested and involved. Will that get him into college? If I start worrying now, maybe I won't be such a freak in a year! So, then thinking about music reminds me that last night he informed me that he has a paying gig for October 31! Then, he reminds me that he needs to practice with his other band this weekend! Wow! All this band talk and performance talk spins my little brain right out of control - he's only 16! So, my brain moves back to the fact that his grades have got to be good this year - this is when it counts. So, then I remember that my next door neighbor, the math tutor, told me that the Algebra teacher my son has is pretty weak - maybe I should go ahead and make arrangements for the tutor. Where will I put a tutor in the schedule, what will he have to sacrifice? What will I have to sacrifice?
Then my brain takes another small side trip - I forgot that I volunteered to be the secretary for the Chorus booster club - which means that I have a meeting tomorrow night. The volunteer stuff always makes me laugh because my kids think it's funny what parents do for their kids! I'm not an uber volunteer - but when I do volunteer, it's best to not run into the kids because they will be embarrassed. They get embarrassed when I am out in public and some man talks to me, or worse yet, flirts with me. That got me to thinking about how weird it must be for celebrity kids to deal with the fact that other people find their parents "sexy, hot." I can visualize the eye rolling that happens at my home, I can only imagine what happens at say, Bono and Ali Hewson's home! Mind you, I have always taken a very open approach to the embarrassing my kids deal - in my honest opinion, it is my right and privilege to be there for them. I mean, really! What a riot!
I too am a student - a college student - this semester I am taking 5 classes - what the hell was I thinking? So, after putting the young one on the bus, I went to my school to buy textbooks. $327.45 later (without the Spanish textbooks that I already own), I am the proud owner of several gently used textbooks. I start flipping through the economics textbook, and once again, I am thinking - what the hell was I thinking?
One more little brain leap later - I'm thinking that I really need to organize some speakers for events that I want to schedule for ONE, trying to figure out how to help the high school students get ONE into their schools...and, oh wait, I need to write my geography professor an e-mail about the geography club, send an e-mail to Heifer International about the pilot program I want to do at my school. I need chocolate and liquid caffeine!
Then my feeble and tired brain moves to the facts that I really need to get in a few more hours at work before classes start - maybe I can pay for my textbooks and some for the other kids in my house who go to college. Which reminds me that I must really be married to a saint to tolerate a peri/pre-menopausal wife who is a full time college student, a 21 year old daughter who also has some moderate hormonal issues, a 19 year old son (enough said) and another son who is going through puberty! God, the man is a saint! What the hell was he thinking?
Tonight yoga starts for the new session - I'm going to try and take the meditation class - will that keep my brain running simpler?
I thought it would be fun to let my brain run away from itself for a little while this afternoon. Kind of fun!
Nancy
I Want to Work With Bono
I Want to Work With Bono
Okay - this is a really self serving entry. As I was sitting on the stationery bike this morning riding my little butt off, thinking about the rest of my day, and thinking about some of the recent discussions on U2.com, I decided that when I grow up, I want to work with Bono.
Think about it. Bono is advised by the best and brightest in the WORLD!!! Not just in Ireland, France or the US but the WORLD. How awesome would it be to be part of the "best and brightest" in the WORLD. At first it would be a little intimidating but consider the possibilities.
Additionally, Bono is a man with vision - a vision of Africa, a vision of the world without poverty, without HIV/AIDS. Some of his visions include developments in Dublin, building companies and industry in parts of Africa, interests in publishing enterprises - what I wouldn't do to be part of any of his business enterprises.
Plus, Bono is a risk taker- he's not afraid to put himself on the line - he's got guts AND integrity. And, he continually does it - personally and professionally. A little digression - my children are all risk takers - my daughter played national level soccer - she put herself on the line everytime she took the field; my son the actor put himself on the line everytime he took the stage; my youngest the musician puts himself on the line everytime he picks up that bass on the stage. People who have that confidence, the ones who are willing to take risks are the ones who push the rest of us to achieve.
Plus, I imagine that Bono demands guts and integrity, moral standards and creativity from the people who work with him. I imagine that the people who have the privilege of working with him are held to those same standards. How awesome would that be - for someone to expect (and know) that you are capable of being the best and brightest?!?!! Consider the possibilities?
He's smart, surrounds himself with smart people and people he loves and trusts. How could I not want to work with this man? I know that the efforts I am involved in where Bono has had an influence are dynamic and continuing to grow - and that knowledge reminds me of what I am involved in - the potential magnitude for eliminating extreme poverty, for fair trade, for debt relief, for eradication of HIV/AIDS, TB and malaria. Now, consider the possibilities!
Yeah, so when I grow up, I need to turn in my application.
Nancy
Okay - this is a really self serving entry. As I was sitting on the stationery bike this morning riding my little butt off, thinking about the rest of my day, and thinking about some of the recent discussions on U2.com, I decided that when I grow up, I want to work with Bono.
Think about it. Bono is advised by the best and brightest in the WORLD!!! Not just in Ireland, France or the US but the WORLD. How awesome would it be to be part of the "best and brightest" in the WORLD. At first it would be a little intimidating but consider the possibilities.
Additionally, Bono is a man with vision - a vision of Africa, a vision of the world without poverty, without HIV/AIDS. Some of his visions include developments in Dublin, building companies and industry in parts of Africa, interests in publishing enterprises - what I wouldn't do to be part of any of his business enterprises.
Plus, Bono is a risk taker- he's not afraid to put himself on the line - he's got guts AND integrity. And, he continually does it - personally and professionally. A little digression - my children are all risk takers - my daughter played national level soccer - she put herself on the line everytime she took the field; my son the actor put himself on the line everytime he took the stage; my youngest the musician puts himself on the line everytime he picks up that bass on the stage. People who have that confidence, the ones who are willing to take risks are the ones who push the rest of us to achieve.
Plus, I imagine that Bono demands guts and integrity, moral standards and creativity from the people who work with him. I imagine that the people who have the privilege of working with him are held to those same standards. How awesome would that be - for someone to expect (and know) that you are capable of being the best and brightest?!?!! Consider the possibilities?
He's smart, surrounds himself with smart people and people he loves and trusts. How could I not want to work with this man? I know that the efforts I am involved in where Bono has had an influence are dynamic and continuing to grow - and that knowledge reminds me of what I am involved in - the potential magnitude for eliminating extreme poverty, for fair trade, for debt relief, for eradication of HIV/AIDS, TB and malaria. Now, consider the possibilities!
Yeah, so when I grow up, I need to turn in my application.
Nancy
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Interesting Quote
Sir Winston Churchill: "To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour."
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Grammas
Since August 5, my mom has been visiting. At 75 (almost 76) she drove herself here from Montgomery, Texas (near Houston). It takes her 14 hours to drive here - she leaves at the crack of dawn and basically eats her way here. She refuses to spend money on road food so she packs this cooler - milk, cheese, granola bars...I can't even remember what she brings to eat. But, she got here late Saturday night. She comes to visit and she comes to help. Since my babies were little, she has worked her butt off helping me around the house with the laundry, meals, groceries, babies...everything. I couldn't afford a nanny but I had a gramma (my kids call her gumi). When she was younger, it was easier for her to deal with the ups and downs of babies. Now, that the kids are older, she struggles with the notion of not being "needed." I think that notion must be genetic because when I realized that my being "needed" was changing from immediately and 24/7 to meals, driving and occasionally companionship, I freaked out. She hates their schedules - they sleep later, have little or no urgency about most things and operate totally on their own schedules. I have learned to tell them when they need things from me that we either do it when it is convenient for me or we don't do it. If there are precursors to doing things and they aren't done - we don't do them.
I see changes in my Mom. Her energy is lower, her intensity is higher and she is becoming so inflexible. Worse than that, she is getting that attitude that I really dislike in some older people: I'm old so it's okay for me to be rude. She is constantly interrupting conversations, she talks when I'm reading so I can't concentrate, and she watches CNN constantly! She doesn't understand any one else's pace in life. I am patient! She gets mad at us when we don't spend the entire day talking or engaged in some "meaningful" conversation. It's funny to a certain extent because as my kids have gotten older, I have let go a whole lot more and things are so much more relaxed. Like I fix breakfast - get out the bagels, cut up some fruit - leave it on the counter for people to eat when they are ready! Mom wants to set up a whole formal breakfast! We read the Sunday papers in stages - a little here, check some e-mails, read a little more paper, go for a workout, come home read the paper a little more, drink some more coffee...drives Mom crazy!
She has very strong relationships with my kids. She calls them on their cells and keeps calling them when they don't answer. She sends letters and calls to see if they got them. Keeps them accountable for their behaviors - she gets in their faces when they do things she doesn't like, when they make grades she doesn't think are acceptable. When my daughter first went to college, my Mom was able to talk her into staying in college. I appreciate that! So many times, kids these days don't have anyone who tells them that their behavior is unacceptable. Not their parents, not their friends, not the schools, not the churches. When I was little and did something wrong, I heard about it from my Uncle Vic, my Aunt Dollly, my mom, my dad, my Uncle George...everyone had an opinion and they all told me. Yet, I grew up in a very loving extended family. However, sometimes Mom thinks that her relationships with the kids gives her the right to supercede my decisions - that pisses me off. Sometimes, it really pisses me off - she can't seem to determine anymore where her authority and rights as a grandparent end and mine as a parent begin. But, I guess it is consistent - she isn't afraid to tell me that she thinks my decisions are wrong...sometimes I wonder how I manage to make it through the day without her here to tell me what to do, what to think and when to think and do!
I love my mom and I know I will miss her when she is not here. I am glad she has had the time and has taken the initiative to be involved with my kids. Those relationships will never be forgotten no matter how goofy they might be.
Egad, I'm really putting some shite out there...do you think I needed to "release" a llittle?!?
Nancy
I see changes in my Mom. Her energy is lower, her intensity is higher and she is becoming so inflexible. Worse than that, she is getting that attitude that I really dislike in some older people: I'm old so it's okay for me to be rude. She is constantly interrupting conversations, she talks when I'm reading so I can't concentrate, and she watches CNN constantly! She doesn't understand any one else's pace in life. I am patient! She gets mad at us when we don't spend the entire day talking or engaged in some "meaningful" conversation. It's funny to a certain extent because as my kids have gotten older, I have let go a whole lot more and things are so much more relaxed. Like I fix breakfast - get out the bagels, cut up some fruit - leave it on the counter for people to eat when they are ready! Mom wants to set up a whole formal breakfast! We read the Sunday papers in stages - a little here, check some e-mails, read a little more paper, go for a workout, come home read the paper a little more, drink some more coffee...drives Mom crazy!
She has very strong relationships with my kids. She calls them on their cells and keeps calling them when they don't answer. She sends letters and calls to see if they got them. Keeps them accountable for their behaviors - she gets in their faces when they do things she doesn't like, when they make grades she doesn't think are acceptable. When my daughter first went to college, my Mom was able to talk her into staying in college. I appreciate that! So many times, kids these days don't have anyone who tells them that their behavior is unacceptable. Not their parents, not their friends, not the schools, not the churches. When I was little and did something wrong, I heard about it from my Uncle Vic, my Aunt Dollly, my mom, my dad, my Uncle George...everyone had an opinion and they all told me. Yet, I grew up in a very loving extended family. However, sometimes Mom thinks that her relationships with the kids gives her the right to supercede my decisions - that pisses me off. Sometimes, it really pisses me off - she can't seem to determine anymore where her authority and rights as a grandparent end and mine as a parent begin. But, I guess it is consistent - she isn't afraid to tell me that she thinks my decisions are wrong...sometimes I wonder how I manage to make it through the day without her here to tell me what to do, what to think and when to think and do!
I love my mom and I know I will miss her when she is not here. I am glad she has had the time and has taken the initiative to be involved with my kids. Those relationships will never be forgotten no matter how goofy they might be.
Egad, I'm really putting some shite out there...do you think I needed to "release" a llittle?!?
Nancy
Babies Leaving Home
Since July 30, my entire family has been home - all five of us. My daughter spent the summer working in New Orleans and my middle son spent the summer taking Organic Chemistry in Virginia, my youngest home from rock and roll camps, beach trips, etc.
My daughter is a senior this fall at the University of Georgia and over the summer she returned to New Orleans where she first began her education at Loyola University New Orleans. Her first roommate (and roommate for life) is from Nola and when my daughter couldn't find a job in Athens (where UGA is located) her rommmate's mom suggested she come to Nola to work. Momma Michelle told my daughter that there were no people left in the city to work! So, my daughter went and went to work - waitressing in a Mexican food restaurant where she made almost $2,800 in 6 weeks. She lived with Momma Michelle and family. Momma Michelle and her family lost the bottom floor of their home during the floods of Katrina. The family lives in a trailer in their driveway while they try and rebuild their home so they can inhabit it again. Out of the 20-25 homes on their street/block only two homes have people living in them - really they are living in the driveways in trailers but it is still home. They were the lucky ones with insurance. No jobs for a while but now they are back working. The infrastructure of the city is still very sketchy. The devastation is still so obvious. The kids worked with the Loyola University student group to rebuild homes. It is extremely hot and humid and working outside is horribly difficult. Yet, some people are determined to rebuild their lives.
New Orleans is a very unusual city. For some people it means Bourbon Street and drinking to excess and "the girls gone wild" mentality. I promise I have never bared my chest to anyone after a night on the town in that City. For me, and now my daughter, Bourbon Street is the cheap, nasty part of the city. If you can walk down Bourbon Street without slipping or getting stuck on the pavement, it's either really early or a really slow night! To me, Nola is so many other things. Fabulous museums filled with southern art, fabulous art galleries with amazing naive art, voodoo houses, history, and fabulous food - barbecued oysters, redfish, muffulettas, and music, wonderful soulful, rocking music. One time when I had gone to pick my daughter up from Loyola, I took my bike and went on an early morning ride through the French Quarter. It was really early and I took a spill on Canal Street (front tire got rutted in the streetcar track) but it was one of the most fabulous rides I have ever taken. The French Quarter at 7:00 a.m. was alive with delivery people, workers sweeping off streets and store fronts...it was amazing. Such a rich culture and it has been in my soul for a very long time.
Anyway, the last two days have been spent moving my daughter into her new apartment. We worked like animals - it's hot and we lifted couches, beds, bookshelves. I even drove this ridiculous uhaul truck with only minimal air conditioning - it's 100 outside. Yesterday, I was sore and felt like I had been out drinking all night the night before - tired! It's bittersweet. She needs me more for my checkbook and American Express card than anything but I believe she appreciates me more as a person now than she ever has. But I am thrilled for her that she doesn't need me for too much anymore. She will graduate this spring and hopes to take a year off, travel the world (yes, yes) and go to law school - she wants to do some pro bono work. I am so excited for her, so excited that she is moving on into her own life. I don't have any regrets and I don't have any preconceived notions on how she should live her life. She is a fabulous, sensitive, beautiful young woman who knows her own heart and I think she is really learning how to work with her strengths and develop her weaknesses.
My middle child left the same day. He is on a fabulous road trip and experience. He and his friend from college are going to Maine to work for his friend's grandparents. They will stay and work for the grandparents until about three days before school starts, then they'll work their way back to Richmond and eventually to Salem, Virginia home of Roanoke College. I won't see my son until the 2nd week of September - he's coming home to pick up his drum set and his bike to take back to school. He assures me he will be coming home for Thanksgiving - I hope he doesn't get a better offer. He left Tuesday driving to Richmond, Virginia to his friend's home ( his first big road trip alone), then the boys drove from Richmond to Rhode Island on Wednesday. Today they complete their trip to Maine. This is his first big experience away from home without parents. But, he was so ready. He is a confident mature young man and has always seemed to know himself so much better than most kids his age. He started college in the Fall of 2005 - when he left, I knew he would not come home - not really anyway! And, I was right! His college choice suits him perfectly, he has done a play, pledged a fraternity, done a radio show (where he always plays a song for his mom), made good grades, decided to go to veterinary school, where he wants to go to study abroad. He has great friends and even when he went to school and didn't know a soul, he managed to find friends who are so much like him. He keeps his friends close - even the high school buddies. I have always been amazed at his ability to connect with people, his knack to find people who are so similar to him.
I have one more son at home - I'm glad he is still here. He's a musician and I worry so much about the path he is choosing - it's a tough environment out there as a musician. I know he wants to be successful and make great music - it is his passion. I worry about the drugs, the lack of longevity in some of the most incredibly talented people. I am always talking to him about how important it is to stay grounded, to surround yourself with the people you love and trust - family and good friends. He's 16 - still a ways off from touring the world. I hope I have been able to influence him enough with the emphasis in our lives on family and friends and faith, I hope he sees the value of those relationships and I hope he keeps them dear. It is one of the reasons I believe that U2 has been as successful as they are (without taking into consideration the fabulous music) - they keep their hands close to them, surrounded by lifelong friends and family and a strong faith. It doesn't get much stronger than that.
It's an absolutely remarkable feeling to see your kids grow into themselves. To see them learn to follow their passions and to believe in themselves. The most amazing thing in the world is when you see your kids becoming their own people - who they should be for themselves, as citizens of the world. I'm proud of them, the people they are becoming. Yes, there are times and there will be times when I really miss their daily presence in my life. I guess that pain will get easier as we move along.
Nancy
My daughter is a senior this fall at the University of Georgia and over the summer she returned to New Orleans where she first began her education at Loyola University New Orleans. Her first roommate (and roommate for life) is from Nola and when my daughter couldn't find a job in Athens (where UGA is located) her rommmate's mom suggested she come to Nola to work. Momma Michelle told my daughter that there were no people left in the city to work! So, my daughter went and went to work - waitressing in a Mexican food restaurant where she made almost $2,800 in 6 weeks. She lived with Momma Michelle and family. Momma Michelle and her family lost the bottom floor of their home during the floods of Katrina. The family lives in a trailer in their driveway while they try and rebuild their home so they can inhabit it again. Out of the 20-25 homes on their street/block only two homes have people living in them - really they are living in the driveways in trailers but it is still home. They were the lucky ones with insurance. No jobs for a while but now they are back working. The infrastructure of the city is still very sketchy. The devastation is still so obvious. The kids worked with the Loyola University student group to rebuild homes. It is extremely hot and humid and working outside is horribly difficult. Yet, some people are determined to rebuild their lives.
New Orleans is a very unusual city. For some people it means Bourbon Street and drinking to excess and "the girls gone wild" mentality. I promise I have never bared my chest to anyone after a night on the town in that City. For me, and now my daughter, Bourbon Street is the cheap, nasty part of the city. If you can walk down Bourbon Street without slipping or getting stuck on the pavement, it's either really early or a really slow night! To me, Nola is so many other things. Fabulous museums filled with southern art, fabulous art galleries with amazing naive art, voodoo houses, history, and fabulous food - barbecued oysters, redfish, muffulettas, and music, wonderful soulful, rocking music. One time when I had gone to pick my daughter up from Loyola, I took my bike and went on an early morning ride through the French Quarter. It was really early and I took a spill on Canal Street (front tire got rutted in the streetcar track) but it was one of the most fabulous rides I have ever taken. The French Quarter at 7:00 a.m. was alive with delivery people, workers sweeping off streets and store fronts...it was amazing. Such a rich culture and it has been in my soul for a very long time.
Anyway, the last two days have been spent moving my daughter into her new apartment. We worked like animals - it's hot and we lifted couches, beds, bookshelves. I even drove this ridiculous uhaul truck with only minimal air conditioning - it's 100 outside. Yesterday, I was sore and felt like I had been out drinking all night the night before - tired! It's bittersweet. She needs me more for my checkbook and American Express card than anything but I believe she appreciates me more as a person now than she ever has. But I am thrilled for her that she doesn't need me for too much anymore. She will graduate this spring and hopes to take a year off, travel the world (yes, yes) and go to law school - she wants to do some pro bono work. I am so excited for her, so excited that she is moving on into her own life. I don't have any regrets and I don't have any preconceived notions on how she should live her life. She is a fabulous, sensitive, beautiful young woman who knows her own heart and I think she is really learning how to work with her strengths and develop her weaknesses.
My middle child left the same day. He is on a fabulous road trip and experience. He and his friend from college are going to Maine to work for his friend's grandparents. They will stay and work for the grandparents until about three days before school starts, then they'll work their way back to Richmond and eventually to Salem, Virginia home of Roanoke College. I won't see my son until the 2nd week of September - he's coming home to pick up his drum set and his bike to take back to school. He assures me he will be coming home for Thanksgiving - I hope he doesn't get a better offer. He left Tuesday driving to Richmond, Virginia to his friend's home ( his first big road trip alone), then the boys drove from Richmond to Rhode Island on Wednesday. Today they complete their trip to Maine. This is his first big experience away from home without parents. But, he was so ready. He is a confident mature young man and has always seemed to know himself so much better than most kids his age. He started college in the Fall of 2005 - when he left, I knew he would not come home - not really anyway! And, I was right! His college choice suits him perfectly, he has done a play, pledged a fraternity, done a radio show (where he always plays a song for his mom), made good grades, decided to go to veterinary school, where he wants to go to study abroad. He has great friends and even when he went to school and didn't know a soul, he managed to find friends who are so much like him. He keeps his friends close - even the high school buddies. I have always been amazed at his ability to connect with people, his knack to find people who are so similar to him.
I have one more son at home - I'm glad he is still here. He's a musician and I worry so much about the path he is choosing - it's a tough environment out there as a musician. I know he wants to be successful and make great music - it is his passion. I worry about the drugs, the lack of longevity in some of the most incredibly talented people. I am always talking to him about how important it is to stay grounded, to surround yourself with the people you love and trust - family and good friends. He's 16 - still a ways off from touring the world. I hope I have been able to influence him enough with the emphasis in our lives on family and friends and faith, I hope he sees the value of those relationships and I hope he keeps them dear. It is one of the reasons I believe that U2 has been as successful as they are (without taking into consideration the fabulous music) - they keep their hands close to them, surrounded by lifelong friends and family and a strong faith. It doesn't get much stronger than that.
It's an absolutely remarkable feeling to see your kids grow into themselves. To see them learn to follow their passions and to believe in themselves. The most amazing thing in the world is when you see your kids becoming their own people - who they should be for themselves, as citizens of the world. I'm proud of them, the people they are becoming. Yes, there are times and there will be times when I really miss their daily presence in my life. I guess that pain will get easier as we move along.
Nancy
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Hot August
So, with Bono and the boys in my ear I set out on my walk this morning. At 6:45 a.m. it was already steamy outside - around 79 and humid!!! I really missed the beach this morning - there wasn't even a breeze. My goal was 5 miles - I did it. But, I am sure it was because of the wonderful music in my ears...like getting to that really big damn hill and hitting Elevation on the MP3 player. Oh yeah!!!
Do you ever have that really excited feeling and can't quite put it into words or know what it is? It's almost like anxiety but it feels good instead of worried. I have that feeling today. So, my first thoughts are cool, something neat is happening, something good is coming. Then, my very next thought is whoa, something bad is probably going to happen and I've jinxed that something good is going to happen. I was talking to my 19 year old son today and trying to explain that to him - he told me he thought it would be really hard to be me with all that weird stuff going on in my head. I told him he was so right. I guess once you are a parent and you get those feelings that you're not really sure of, kind of like a 6th sense that something's going on, you almost automatically go to worried! Weird, huh!!!
Yesterday I went to the bookstore, picked up the new Rolling Stone magazine, the new Economist AND a new music mag called Paste, and the War CD. Got home, the youngest son took Rolling Stone (article on Led Zeppelin and sex), the older son took Paste and my daughter took the Economist. That left me with the War CD - I was so excited. Since I am still so new to U2 I have so much music to discover and absorb. It's such a great thing. Maybe that's the great thing that is going to happen to me today - I finally got to listen to the whole CD!!! What I don't understand though is why they don't put all the lyrics in the liner notes - I'm so hungry for the words and they aren't all there. It is such a drag!!!
Anyway, I am up to bike early in the morning, then to work for a few hours. I'll probably have to come and take a nap (at least a little nap). My husband has been traveling all week and will be home late tomorrow night - I'll be waiting!!! Hopefully the wine bottle won't be empty.
It was a great day!
nbb
Do you ever have that really excited feeling and can't quite put it into words or know what it is? It's almost like anxiety but it feels good instead of worried. I have that feeling today. So, my first thoughts are cool, something neat is happening, something good is coming. Then, my very next thought is whoa, something bad is probably going to happen and I've jinxed that something good is going to happen. I was talking to my 19 year old son today and trying to explain that to him - he told me he thought it would be really hard to be me with all that weird stuff going on in my head. I told him he was so right. I guess once you are a parent and you get those feelings that you're not really sure of, kind of like a 6th sense that something's going on, you almost automatically go to worried! Weird, huh!!!
Yesterday I went to the bookstore, picked up the new Rolling Stone magazine, the new Economist AND a new music mag called Paste, and the War CD. Got home, the youngest son took Rolling Stone (article on Led Zeppelin and sex), the older son took Paste and my daughter took the Economist. That left me with the War CD - I was so excited. Since I am still so new to U2 I have so much music to discover and absorb. It's such a great thing. Maybe that's the great thing that is going to happen to me today - I finally got to listen to the whole CD!!! What I don't understand though is why they don't put all the lyrics in the liner notes - I'm so hungry for the words and they aren't all there. It is such a drag!!!
Anyway, I am up to bike early in the morning, then to work for a few hours. I'll probably have to come and take a nap (at least a little nap). My husband has been traveling all week and will be home late tomorrow night - I'll be waiting!!! Hopefully the wine bottle won't be empty.
It was a great day!
nbb
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Home Training Notes
Bear with me - I am determined to do this half marathon/triathlon stuff - hope that writing down and keeping notes on my training will help me stay focused!
7/31/06 - Spin Class
8/1/06 - Nothing (Heifer meeting)
8/2/06 - Spin Class
8/3/06 - Walked - 5 miles. Hot, muggy, hilly (I really miss the beach!)
8/4/06 - 6:00 am spin class with Lorna - she is good!
8/5/06 - Day off
8/6/06 - Elliptical for 45 minutes
8/7/06 - Walked 5 miles (5:45-7:30) - Could I be any slower???
8/8 and 8/9 - No exercise but worked like a dog on moving daughter
8/10/06 - Spin class
8/11/06 - spin Class with Lorna - kicked my butt again
8/12/06 - Walk, elipse
8/13/06 - Day off
8/14/06 - Work - day off workouts
8/15/06 - Elipse
8/16/06 - Bike
8/17/06 - day off (too many days off lately!)
8/18/06 - Spin Class (Lorna - she said it was easy - ha, ha)
8/19/06 - Spin class (Chris - these youngsters are killing me), yoga (wow!)
7/31/06 - Spin Class
8/1/06 - Nothing (Heifer meeting)
8/2/06 - Spin Class
8/3/06 - Walked - 5 miles. Hot, muggy, hilly (I really miss the beach!)
8/4/06 - 6:00 am spin class with Lorna - she is good!
8/5/06 - Day off
8/6/06 - Elliptical for 45 minutes
8/7/06 - Walked 5 miles (5:45-7:30) - Could I be any slower???
8/8 and 8/9 - No exercise but worked like a dog on moving daughter
8/10/06 - Spin class
8/11/06 - spin Class with Lorna - kicked my butt again
8/12/06 - Walk, elipse
8/13/06 - Day off
8/14/06 - Work - day off workouts
8/15/06 - Elipse
8/16/06 - Bike
8/17/06 - day off (too many days off lately!)
8/18/06 - Spin Class (Lorna - she said it was easy - ha, ha)
8/19/06 - Spin class (Chris - these youngsters are killing me), yoga (wow!)
Training Diary - OBX Workouts
7/24 - Biked 10 miles at beach
7/25 - Walked 6 miles on beach
7/26 - Biked 20 miles (fell off bike!)
7/27 - Off (rented jeeps to go see wild horses of Currituck Island?)
7/28 - Biked 10 miles, walked 7 (huh?)
7/29 - Walked 2.5 miles (even got my hubby to go with me!)
7/25 - Walked 6 miles on beach
7/26 - Biked 20 miles (fell off bike!)
7/27 - Off (rented jeeps to go see wild horses of Currituck Island?)
7/28 - Biked 10 miles, walked 7 (huh?)
7/29 - Walked 2.5 miles (even got my hubby to go with me!)
Triathlon/Half Marathon Training
Let's see - my daughter, in her infinite 20 year old wisdom decided to start smoking. My youngest told her he would do a triathlon with her if she would stop smoking! So, in my infinite 51 year old wisdom, I said, you know that would be a blast! So, I have decided to join in on the triathlon! Our goal triathlon date is sometime this winter. The funny thing is that I don't run!!!!!! So, I started training the week we were at OBX - walked and biked. The swimming thing will come as soon as I find time to get in the swimming pool.
In the meantime, there is a half marathon that occurs in Atlanta in November, around Thanksgiving - maybe it won't be so freaking hot then! So, I have decided to set that as my first goal - now how to go about that!? I decided that I would spend the month of August walking - I've been home from the beach for two days and haven't walked yet! Great start, huh. There is just something about getting out at 6:30 in the morning at the beach and going for a walk - no cars, very few people - I don't use music, I just enjoy the morning sounds of the beach. However, I hate walking at home - even early there are so many damn cars and people...constant noise. Maybe I need to use my headphones - as my daughter says a "little Bono in her ear and she's a happy girl."
So, I'm back to square one but at least I did bike on Monday and I am biking today - maybe I will swim this afternoon...
Wish me luck.
In the meantime, there is a half marathon that occurs in Atlanta in November, around Thanksgiving - maybe it won't be so freaking hot then! So, I have decided to set that as my first goal - now how to go about that!? I decided that I would spend the month of August walking - I've been home from the beach for two days and haven't walked yet! Great start, huh. There is just something about getting out at 6:30 in the morning at the beach and going for a walk - no cars, very few people - I don't use music, I just enjoy the morning sounds of the beach. However, I hate walking at home - even early there are so many damn cars and people...constant noise. Maybe I need to use my headphones - as my daughter says a "little Bono in her ear and she's a happy girl."
So, I'm back to square one but at least I did bike on Monday and I am biking today - maybe I will swim this afternoon...
Wish me luck.
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