Cassie

Cassie has been sick, again. She had diarrhea over the weekend, I stopped giving her the duramaxx (the meds she takes for arthritis) and switched her back to a very gentle diet - remember the BRATY diet (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast and yogurt) that we gave our kids when they got diarrhea? Monday morning she was her great usual self - outside for a walk, breakfast. But by Monday afternoon, she couldn't walk. She had a huge limp - seemed to me like it was on her front right side. So, in order for me to get her outside I have to pick her up and carry her out. I'm kind of strong, but she's 65 pounds and not too happy to be picked up so, I'll say it's a challenge to carry her out to go to the bathroom. She was able to walk a little. But clearly was out of sorts. I called Lesley - sad meltdown. She called Joe - but he pretty much already knew because he has been here all summer and he and I have talked about Cassie's situation and how to tell when it's time. Lesley finally got Andy and they decided that they felt very very very strongly about being here if I was going to put Cassie down. So strong in fact that they had decided they wouldn't talk to me if I put her down without them being here…not a good thing (well, or maybe it could be a good thing!!! - haha).

By Tuesday morning, when I went in to get Cassie early (I have pilates early on T/TH mornings through this week) she was really out of it. I picked her up, took her out to pee and she tipped over and rolled down the hill…it was so fucking sad. I had to go right her and bring her back in - no pee. She couldn't stand up at all. I went to pilates, came home, hoping for a miracle - there was none. So I called the vet, I couldn't control myself and was crying as I was trying to talk to the lady at the vet's office. They got Cassie in right away. I picked her up again, put her in the Escape and drove her to the vet with the complete intention of putting her down. Again, the emotion of it all just had me a complete mess. I sat in the floor with Cassie, brushing her with my hands and collecting all her fur. Figured that if I did end up putting her down, then I would have lots of puppy fur to send to Lesley and Andy - maybe then they wouldn't be so upset with me. Doc comes in - we talk about Cassie - he takes her temp and she has a fever - he felt that maybe she had an infection. I asked him what he would do…we talked some more about Cassie's demeanor before Monday - she was up, she was around, going for her walks, etc. He thought we had several options - I chose the one where we treated her with an antibiotic, fluids and a shot of rimadyl for her hips. Long day yesterday - she was listless, lethargic, not peeing, not eating…I went to the store and bought ground chicken breast, cooked that and some rice. Joe handfed her some of the chicken and some mini nilla wafers (I swear there is something restorative in those mini nillas). Still no success with getting her to pee and she was still unable to walk - Joe carried her out once and then I tried again…nothing.

This morning she barked to tell me it was time to get up. I bought puppy "wee wee pads" - that's really their name - she had peed - fortunately on the wee wee pad - and was anxious to get up and go outside. She is still hobbling but I didn't have to carry her and yea, she peed outside! I'm talking to the vet right now to see what he wants me to do today. Hopefully he will give her one more antibiotic injection and one more rimadyl injection. And, vet says yes - so I have a 9:45 appointment!

Andy and Lesley are coming home this weekend to see her. I'm physically trashed - my shoulders, upper back, lower back…all incredibly sore and tight!

Joe leaves today.