Irritated

I am on a bit of a tear today. I am so frustrated.

I'm a volunteer. For some dumb reason, I have believed that the donation of my time is incredibly valuable to an organization. Apparently that's not the right way to think of it. And, I'm finding something different. I find that most organizations tend to be very self-centric - or donor centric. If you donate money to a organization, or I should say if you donate a sizable amount of money to an organization, they treat you like royalty. Donate 20 hours a week of your time and you are barely recognizable and completely disposable. It's not that I think I'm invaluable but I do believe I am valuable. I am the face of your organization in the world. As a volunteer, I pay my own way - meals, airfare, gas, cabs, hotels. I am expected then to bring some friends along and they too are expected to pay their own way. I volunteer to work whenever you need me - sometimes putting in some pretty long days and doing some pretty physical things (moving tables, etc). I frequently rearrange my schedule to accommodate last minute requests for meetings, etc. I don't ask for anything because I am committed to the cause. I don't ask for recognition but I do want to be recognized and respected. Sometimes it would be nice to be treated like I was an important financial donor. Maybe given a VIP opportunity.

Maybe I really need to rethink all this. Maybe I am not being honest with myself and with others about what it is that I want from volunteering. One of the things that is really important to me is that when I volunteer I am getting to spend time with people who think like I do. It's nice to feel like you have a place where you belong. Last year, I attended a couple of conferences for women that I paid for. I didn't belong in those groups - their focus was so different than mine. That was frustrating. So when I volunteer one of the things I enjoy is the time with friends - people I have come to know and trust and people whose company I really enjoy. All very important to me. Maybe volunteering is just a social opportunity - but I don't really think so.

I need to think about this. Obviously.

I did sent out the first Mango Tree Foundation newsletter - we misspelled Colombia on the first line!!!!!!!! I think it's because someone else typed the first draft and I didn't think at all about checking the spelling - I knew what I had written was correct. Even funnier that all the Mango Tree partners looked over the email!

Going to see Half the Sky Live tonight. Should be fun.