Yoga

I completely understand that I am not an advanced yogi, or even an intermediate yogi! In the back of my mind, I think I want to be really good, advanced and taking on more challenging poses, more flexible, stronger, better able to make my breath work for me. But I know too that I'm not supposed to be competitive in yoga and that I should listen to my body and not force things. I try to, I really do. I focus on the basic poses and continuing to breathe while I am in those poses, I focus on listening to my body and trying to let it do what it can.

But, sometimes that mental part of me gets frustrated. Today I got frustrated. I took an Intermediate class - and there were so many things I could not do. I cannot bind my hands behind my back and bend over and lift my arms up off my back - just not a physical reality. I can sort of do eagle arms on one side when we go left over right but I am so minimally in the pose when I do right over left...I have no idea how to do crow, I have to support myself in pigeon. Today's not the first day I've realized what my physical limitations in yoga are.

The problem is that I don't want to get frustrated. I have to take that thinking out of my head because in the long run it will completely limit my practice. But, do I give up attending the intermediate class for something that is comfortable or do I persevere and hope, that my body opens up and I am able to do more of the poses. At the beginning of every class you have to set an intention for that class - maybe I need to think of just listening to my breathing and my body! I suppose child's pose of downward facing dog are always good places to retreat to.

Such problems to have to think about.

Tim comes home tomorrow night. I'm excited.

I'm going to hear Greg Mortenson tomorrow night - he wrote Three Cups of Tea. Great story and great read. I saw him a few years ago at the Carter Center - right after his book was published. That's where I met the people who were involved with Pedals for Progress!

Monday

I had such a disappointing weekend! I was supposed to leave very early Saturday morning to go see Joe in Salem. But, there is no gas. My friends called relatives who live in Charlotte which is about half way to Salem from Atlanta and they said there was no gas, that they were having the same sort of issues we are having here...so I worried that I would get stuck somewhere - particularly north of Charlotte where there are only small towns with small gas stations. I called Joe, who was at the movies, we exchanged text messages - me apologizing and him assuring me that it was all okay. We made plans for me to go to Salem the last weekend in October. They are having "Piketoberfest." Should be fun.

When I realized I wasn't going to be going to Salem I sent an email to the tennis team captains telling them my plans had changed and telling them that if they needed me to play I was available. Jennifer said yes, Peggy said no - she was satisfied with the line-up; they lost.

I have been on a shopping spree. I hate shopping and that is all I have done for the last week or so. Shopping for this or that. I've bought pants, new t-shirts, a dress, a new jean jacket, some shoes, therabands and resistance bands to train at home; I still need a belt. It's madness. I think it's a combination of just damned bored and loneliness. I need to exercise a little self control. However, I think I'm done for the rest of the year - except for maybe a few long sleeved t-shirts.

The Horstman's rescued me on Saturday and invited me up for dinner - I took the wine (2 pinot noirs, a Bergerac and a "dry" reisling. The pinots were good, the Bergerac was good and we poured the Reisling out! It was so unbelievable sweet neither Sirpa or I could stand it. I can't remember the last time I poured a bottle of wine out! We had steaks, asparagus, grilled tomatoes and potatoes. It was lovely. I took Cassie and she and Cocoa had a great time running around the yard and being pretty silly dogs. Cassie was so tired all day yesterday. It was awesome.

Sunday was tennis match day (after I went shopping I went to cheer on the team) and book club. At the tennis match, Julie Thomas told me she had a bone to pick with me about how much Rebecca and I talked at the tennis lessons!!!!!!!! At first I didn't think she was serious then I realized she was and I was so flabbergasted I couldn't respond. I told her I thought Rebecca was very professional and that she ran a great practice. Anyway, I saw Rebecca later that evening and told her what Julie said - Rebecca wasn't sure who Julie was, then she said that the only time she and I had talked was during pick-up!

Book club was boring - there were only three of us. We read the Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. I enjoyed the book, but didn't read every word of it. The language was very, very British (as can be imagined) and sometimes it was difficult. But, by the last five chapters I was completely hooked. I'm actually going to finish the book today. Since no one was there we didn't pick a book for the next month. The EC book club has a low commitment level - a lot of people never read the book, a lot never come. But, for the other book club I just was able to join, we are reading Twilight (one book in a series of four) designed for the tweens. It should be an interesting read. After that we are reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

I was going to walk this morning before yoga but I have walked the last two mornings - one a death march with the dog - and my heels are really hurting. It's yoga day, yippee! I need to stop by Publix and get some Splenda on the way down to yoga so afterwards I can mail Lesley her Luna bars and Splenda. I'm trying a new place for shipping - FedEx in the Fresh Market shopping center. I want to see if the UPS store is ripping me off...I suspect they are but you never know.

Must go shower and start, somehow to sort out my recent purchases and get going on the day. If there is ever gas available I am going to drive Lesley's car!

Finally Friday

It's finally Friday. I'm adjusting to being alone, I guess. I am really trying to space my activities out over the entire day. I'm used to having people around in the evening so I find myself at 7 trying to figure out what to do for the rest of the evening. I have been taking the dog for a walk - last night our walk was too short. But, I refuse to turn on the television until 8 - even then if I go to bed at 10 then I am watching tv for 3 hours!!!! Not a good plan. I am going to learn to be selective on what I watch - I will read or watch a movie instead of just random tv! That's my resolution.

Today I have French at 10 - there appears to be constant confusion on when I am going to be at my French lessons - Bunny called last night to ask if I was going to be there today because Suzanne told her I wasn't going to be coming in. So, yes I am going to be at French today, not there next week and then I should be in class for the rest of the series, at least for right now.

I am also going to go to Mountain View swimming pool to try and figure out what their schedule is - I want to run in the pool today and maybe swim a few laps. I am determined to start swimming and to do more in the pool but for some reason I am intimidated by the whole process. Freaks me out.

I have also decided to try Ursula's 7:00 a.m. wake-up yoga class. I will have to get up really early, take care of the dog and head out by 6:20. That's on Wednesday mornings.

So, here's my schedule:
Monday: Yoga at 10:00 with Ursula at Peachtree, walk at 7:00
Tuesday: Yoga at 10:00 at Plum Tree
Wednesday: Yoga at 7:00 a.m. with Ursula at Peachtree, swim
Thursday: Yoga at 10:00 with Ursula at Peachtree, walk at 7:00
Friday: French lessons at 10:00 with Bunny at Cafe de Paris, swim, tennis lessons
Saturday: LA Fitness (?)
Sunday: Walk, tennis...

I purchased some resistance bands at the sporting goods store yesterday. I want to do the upper body exercises and the lower body with the rings. I also want to do sit ups and push ups on the ball.

Tomorrow I go to Roanoke to see Joe. I was able to find gas this morning - I went out at 6:30 to make sure I could find some so I could at least get out of Atlanta tomorrow morning. But, I had to put regular in the car. Figure that if I put super premium unleaded and regular it evened out to premium unleaded.

Work and Friends

My husband asked me what I did yesterday and I told him I worked. He asked me "at what?" Funny guy.

We had a very productive afternoon session with Mango Tree. We are working on a power point that we will take on our "dog and pony" show when we start asking for money to fund projects. It was a lot of fun. The power point is coming along very nicely and I'm thrilled. Lynn does such a good job of putting ideas down on paper. I was totally excited because I had been watching the opening plenary of the Clinton Global Initiative and heard the leaders of the world discsuss collaboration, coordination of efforts, working with the youth (which is a weird thing to say), the need for capacity building and what a great time it is to invest in the developing world. So, I had some thoughts on what we needed to put in the power point. Lynn put them in! And Baby Claire, she just kept us giggling - such a great baby and now becoming her very own little person.

We've gotten the go ahead to travel to Colombia in January - so exciting. I can't wait to meet the women at Yo Mujer and to see how we can assist them in the efforts to help the women they work with. In December we are trying to meet with the folks at Africa Bags to see what kind of work they are doing, if we like them, and if we want to do business with them. Before we can go out there, though, I need to do a lot more research on fruit drying initiatives in Africa. They're talking bananas, great option, and we're talking mangos. This is so exciting. I keep wanting to pinch myself to make sure this is all real. I keep thinking about how I got here and realize that it is because of a shift in my thought processes - from what I had to do because I should to what I can do because I want to...life transforming...of course, that and two really good friends who have allowed me to explore the possibilities of making change in the world.

I got home and went down to Club 191 in downtown Atlanta for a CARE Advocacy meeting. Kristi Wooten and I are going to be co-chair district leaders for our legislative district. Our representative is Tom Price. We will be responsible for arranging quarterly meetings with Representative Price on the issues of CARE and, for us, ONE. Kristi and I also co-chair the Atlanta ONE initiative. We heard two speakers at the meeting last night. They are women who work in the field - one is the country coordinator for CARE in the Sudan (Liz M. Laughlin) and the other is the education coordinator working in India, Bangladesh, Nepal - she actually lives in Atlanta now.

I was fascinated with the stories of Liz. She was a member of one of the first convoys that delivered aid to Sarajevo in 1993. It changed her life and she has moved from being a stockbroker (background in finance) to a caterer to a humanitarian worker. Her work in the Sudan is amazing - she is committed to the process of peacebuilding (coming from the "nationals") and is working continually facilitating those efforts. She told us that the tribal groups had their own ways for dealing with conflict and that she readily encouraged that process. I found that information when I was doing research for my senior thesis - that some countries had opted for traditional methods of dealing with the transgressions of their neighbors rather than take on the new forms of truth and reconciliation commissions. Anyway, I was very selfish and completely monopolized her time after dinner. We talked about the Balkans (where she eventually ended up working for 12 years), I told her of my passion for the area even though I had not been there and that I really hoped to be able to visit the area, she gave me her e-mail address and offered her contacts when I go. She's doing work I respect and would love to know more about. She's committed to involvement at the local level in a very dangerous place. She is committed to training locals to do jobs for CARE in Sudan. She believes that peace can come from the bottom up and remains committed to local peace building exercises. I asked her if she thought I could get someone to put me through the peace building training!?

Off today to yoga, wine store, Costco for new dog beds and then home for some research for Mango Tree, research on grants and working on a business plan. The Chairman of the board of Coca Cola lives in Atlanta. I''m going to try to contact him and see if he will be my mentor. I listened to him talk yesterday and was impressed - of course, that's why he's the COB of Coca cola! The weather is beautiful so I will probably take the dog for a nice long walk this evening. After dinner, before it's dark - I still have trouble with figuring out what to do with the evenings when no one is home - TV is good for a while but then...

Yesterday and Today

First day of alone...went for a walk, went to yoga, had lunch with Suzanne at Horseradish Grill (veggie plate - awesome), then stopped by the Pilates studio and came home. Worked on Mango Tree, watched Dancing with the Stars (I have always loved the show) and went to bed.

Up this morning to go to yoga, then come home and do Mango Tree stuff. Today I'm going to take my walk in the evening. It's a long time from 5 p.m. until bedtime. If I walk at dusk it won't be too hot or too dark. Seems to be the evenings that are unusually long.

There's no gas available, I don't want to use all I have so I don't have any errands. Should go buy some wine and a new bed for Cassie but that's all the way over in Kennesaw. Maybe tomorrow when I go to Pattersons to work on Mango Tree I can stop by Costco and by Total Wine on my way home.

Home Alone?

Sounds like a good name for a movie!

Today marks the first time I have lived alone, with the exception of a short time in 1975. When I lived alone in 1975 (the dark ages) I had a black and white springer spaniel named Jason and a beautiful grey kitten named Jasmine. I sold Jason to someone who had a whole lot of time to spend with him and I gave Jasmine to a friend who really wanted a kitten, and again who had more time to spend than I did...I wasn't very good on my own. I found lots of reasons to be away from home.

I left Lesley at the airport in LA on Saturday afternoon. It was bittersweet. When Lesley went off to college, neither of us were very happy - it had been a very tough year and I was glad to see her going to college. She was thrilled to be leaving home, was not happy with us here. I never got to have that going away to college, gosh I'm going to miss you time (like I have since had with Joe and Andy). Lesley moved back home after she graduated from college and it has been a great year. I have enjoyed her company and been able to watch her grow a little! She developed great relationships with Tim and I, her brothers, Cassie the dog and people at work. She really enjoyed her job at Starbucks. We said goodbye on the rental car shuttle bus - I held it together until she was out of sight then totally lost it. Had a few moments in the security line and on the plane. It's a weird feeling. She has arrived in Taiwan, says it smells salty and humid like the beach (I asked her to remember all the smells so she could describe it to me) and today was her first full day in the country. I know she will enjoy it.

We did have a great weekend in LA. Arrived at about 9:30, got our bags, got to the hotel, crashed. Of course, once we arrived in LA they couldn't get the jetway to work - that took about 15 minutes, then I went to get the car while Lesley waited with the luggage and the line to get the car was about 30 minutes, then, of course, even with the GPS we got lost going to the hotel which was only three miles away! We got to our room and the hotel had given us keys that were too big for the slots in the door! Friday morning we both had a workout, then went to Hollywood, Beverly Hills and Santa Monica. We went to Grauman's Chinese Theatre which was very cool and very touristy. Walked on the beach at Santa Monica and wandered around the Santa Monica pedestrian area which were both very cool. Had some good Mexican food and humongous margaritas and went back to our hotel. Saturday we went separate ways!

Today Tim left at 6:15 a.m. for Philly. He won't be home until October 1. Rather than coming home from Philly on Thursday he is going to Minneapolis so he can go down to Andy's parents' weekend at SMU. Andy is performing with the concert choir, the chamber choir and the jazz ensemble. Tim will then go back to Philly from Minneapolis.

I am going to Joe's last parents' weekend. Joe never really wanted us to come before. It is his senior year, he is the president of his fraternity and they are having a barbecue and keg party on Saturday! I doubt if all the parents will come but, I will be there for a little while. I'll drive up on Saturday morning and drive home on Sunday. Sarah H. will be watching Cassie - in combination with other members of her family...depending on who's home.

Off for a walk, then yoga, then lunch with friends.

Today

Good morning!

It's always funny to go back and reread my old posts.

Andy managed to graduate from high school and decided to go to St. Mary's University in Winona, Minnesota. He is part of their music performance program playing the bass guitar. So far he has been accepted into the concert choir, the chamber choir and he is playing in a jazz ensemble. Our communication with him is based on grunts and one word answers - but, the words are: awesome, I love it (okay that's three words), fabulous...I'm just crossing my fingers and thinking good thoughts that he is getting his school work done and done well and timely!

Lesley leaves for Taiwan on Thursday - I am traveling with her to LA on Thursday, she actually leaves for Taiwan on Saturday, and I will return home on Saturday as well. She will be there for a year working for a Taiwanese company teaching English to Taiwanese kids. Her last day at work was Friday, September 12. She loved working at Starbucks - made some friends, some money and for the first time in her life, was able to pay for her own medical insurance benefits. For the last few days I have been helping her get ready to make the trip - buying a few items that she needed, clothes, shoes, a rolling duffle bag, getting all her prescriptions filled. All those kinds of things We had a going away party for her on Saturday night - it was a lot of fun. However, I didn't get to bed until about 2:00!!!! Way too late after way too much wine.

My Mom is stuck in Montgomery after Hurricane Ike with no power and with cousin Vicki and Bob's Mom and Dad. The power has been out since Saturday - but they sound like they have a little outpost kind of thing going on . They are all out working in the yard, have set up the kitchen on her porch and are taking turns with a neighbor running to get ice. Plus, they have the pool if it gets really unbearably hot. They are also lucky that they have running water and are able to shower and flush toilets. Mom is cooking every piece of meat in her freezer - a feast I'm sure. Hopefully they are getting close to the end. If they are still out of power next week, I'm going to ask them to come here. They could come this week but have chosen not to!

Tim is still commuting (now a year later) but is close to selling his company. I'm thrilled. However, it's the calm before the storm. Now it's going to be nuts. With all the information that is required, all the analysis of who's going to go where and do what. We're hoping for an executive office here in Atlanta. It's not that Atlanta is a place I can't leave, it's just convenient. I have good friends, good contacts and I'm not sure I'm really willing to leave all that. However, Tim is the one who supports us so I will do whatever needs to happen!

Me, I'm hanging around. Feeling a little discombobulated and a little scared and a little excited. I laugh that if I didn't have to get up for the dog in the morning I wouldn't get up at all. It's not quite that dramatic - I'm practicing yoga, no cardio lately except for tennis - which kills my feet which is why I'm not doing too much otherwise. Hot flashes are running rampant - but I bought a book about menopause written by Christine Northrup and it is fantastic. Some of the information is a little overboard - she used tarot cards to help her support her intuition development. I'm not sure that's for me but I laughed at the first four pages of the book because I felt like she had been in my house with me! Some of the same feelings and expressions of frustration. It's an interesting time. I'm supplementing my low calorie, low carb diet with fish oil, evening primrose oil, calcium with vitamin D and some menopause herbs in Estroven.

Mango Tree is also hanging around. We're waiting to hear from the IRS. I sent the 501(c)(3) form in August - got a letter that they had received it and am now just waiting, waiting, waiting...We are meeting tomorrow - I hope we get moving forward on things.

Today I am going to a new book club - The Tortilla Curtain was the book. Then I am having a facial. Tonight, maybe yoga! Tomorrow I'm getting my hair done and Mango Treeing...Thursday leaving for LA. Home Sunday.