- I went to a funeral yesterday. It was to honor a man I only met once - Giriraj Rao. I am good friends with his step-daughter. My friend's mom married Mr. Rao about 10 years ago, after the death of his first wife. My friend and I graduated from college together, in fact, we walked hand in hand giggling and waving into the auditorium, totally enjoying each other's company and celebrating our accomplishments (it was so much more fun than sitting with people we didn't know and/or don't like). We also had some classes together, including Senior Seminar with Dr. Moran. She is a spectacular young woman and I am honored to be among her friends.
I only found out about the funeral for Mr. Rao when I picked up the Saturday Atlanta paper - I'm really weird about reading the obituaries. As soon as I saw his photo on the front of the newspaper, I knew who he was. I was shocked.
I met Mr. Rao at a party honoring his step-daughter's graduation from college. I was immediately drawn to Mr. Rao. His charm and intelligence were an irresistible combination for me. We quickly fell into a conversation about college. Mr. Rao believed very strongly in education and spent time at UCBerkley as well as finishing undergraduate work in India. He came to the United States on a scholarship from his government and was indebted to the government of India after college. He fulfilled that obligation but ended up back in the US at UCBerkley. Even though my friend was not his natural born daughter, he was so incredibly proud of her accomplishments. On an aside, my friend is from Azerbijian (a country of the former Soviet Union) and English is her second language.
We talked more about his unbelievable career at Coca Cola - where he was instrumental in the creation of Fresca and Mello Yello.
Eventually we turned to one of the subjects I had been taught to avoid at all costs, religion. I tend to be very religiously tolerant, but a lot of people don't share my tolerance. Growing up in the south, not only were girls to be seen and not heard, but we were also strictly told to avoid discussions of politics and religion! So, I will almost never initiate a conversation about either of them. But, I will participate - I listen a lot and then get involved. Mr. Rao established immediately that he shared my views of religious tolerance and understanding and then told me some of his personal history. He was involved with Gandhi, has always practiced nonviolence and inclusion and celebration of diversity. We talked at great length about the importance of all the world religions, how important it is for them all to recognize each other and find a common thread. Then he talked at great length about a little curio cabinet mounted on his wall. Inside this little cabinet were representations from some of the world's religions - Christianity, Judaism and Hinduism. He talked about each piece, why they were significant to him and why he had wanted to put all the items together in one place for people to recognize.
As he talked, I realized that I was in the presence of truly a great man.
It's hard to describe the feeling that I had when I left that evening. I felt as if I had just been brought around another corner in my personal development, led to another part of my spirit and soul. He drew me into his circle, talked with me, he was completely present and I felt his presence as we talked. There are only a few people that I have met in my world that have made me feel like this. I knew he was special and I really enjoyed the short time we spent together. He touched my spirit, my intellect, sort of reminding me of the purpose that I have here on this earth and in my life.
I called home to tell everyone at home that I was on my way home and when I was talking with my Mom (she was here for the graduation ceremony) I told her about this gentleman I had just met. I remember thinking, Wow, I just met a great man.
I was reminded of that yesterday at his funeral service. There was a Hindu priest, a woman who sang traditional Indian songs (she was phenomenal) and at least 10 or more speakers who all told of how this gentle man had touched their lives. I was mesmerized and, after almost 2.5 hours, felt like I had known him my whole life. At the end of the service, the family members rose and stood next to the casket. All the audience filed by, slowly and orderly, to pay their respects to Mr. Rao. We all laid rose petals in his casket. On his face around his nose and mouth were grains of rice and there were some other things on his face that I am sure had significance but of which I am not aware of. It was beautiful. After everyone had talked with the family, they had a private moment with his body. They, with the Hindu priest chanting and leading the way, all walked out of the chapel with each family member touching the casket. They walked down the hall, to where Mr. Rao was cremated. It was the most sincere and touching funeral and memorial celebration I had ever attended.
All this makes me think though. When I die will people say I lived a "good" life - not materialistic but did I stand for something not did I have something? What will my legacy be? And, all this, of course, gets in my head even more based on the fact that I'm reading the Eckhart Tolle book about finding out what the world wants from me - what is my true purpose here - because for some reason, I continue to find myself in the presence of people who care, people like Mr. Rao who reinforce for me the need for coexistence, for tolerance and acceptance regardless...surely this is part of the plan for me and my life.
How am I going to take that further, what are my actions going to be to reinforce for someone else these ideas?
nbb
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Funeral Yesterday - Repost
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