This morning, my husband and I had a big fight about the dishes in the sink. You see, yesterday, we dropped the youngest off at school at 8:00 for play rehearsals then we went to the gym. Went for bagels, went to Wal-Mart - came home. Hubby fixed a big breakfast for himself - eggs, bacon, bagel...left all the dishes in the sink and the pots and pans that wouldn't fit in the sink were left on the stove. The dishwasher had dirty dishes in it but it wasn't full - in fact, the door of the dishwasher was open!!! I had a mini-bagel, put my dishes in the dishwasher, went for a shower. Came down, hubby's asleep on the couch and I'm starting my laundry and starting homework and studying for the day. I don't do his dishes. It pisses me off when he makes this big breakfast for himself and leaves the dishes in the sink like he thinks the freaking maid is going to come in and clean up after him. The day goes by - I still don't do the dishes. We got out for an early dinner, come home, watch tv - wait for the youngest to get home from homecoming (no date just a group of friends) and go to bed. Dishes still in the sink.
This morning, I get up, start the coffee, go to the gym for a spin class, come home and he greets me at the door with a diatribe on me not doing the dishes! I'm astonished and pissed off. I go up for a shower - he fixes breakfast AGAIN only this time, he gets most of his dishes in the sink and I finish up after I eat. But, I'm pissed!
I don't mind helping - he cooks, I help with cooking and cleaning. But for some idiotic reason, my otherwise completely intelligent husband doesn't understand that it isn't right for him to expect me to clean up after him. It reeks of pigishness (I had a Welsh friend who used the very descriptive word churlish for such descriptions.)
When I cook, I clean up. No one does it for me - I never cook for just myself and I always am cleaning up after everyone else. You see, for about 18 years I was a stay at home mom - hubby traveled, has a great career - I stay home, cook, clean, raise three children...now two of the kids are away at college, hubby is still in successful career (only he is taking some time off now - like a year and a half, with pay, of course so he's home full time) I only have one kid at home, am a full time college student (taking 5 classes, part-time job and a pretty large volunteer commitment (chorus and the Atlanta organizer for the ONE campaign) and he still thinks I should come home at the end of the day and take care of him.
He did laundry the other day (mind you it was only his laundry) and I thought he was going to break his arm patting himself on the back. Never mind that for 25 years - even when I worked full-time before kids and part time once the oldest turned 17 (she's now 21) and during kids - I'm still expected to do all the house chores. Did he ever once fall all over himself to tell me how nice it is to come home to clean clothes, a nice meal, blah, blah, blah. No, not really!
This ego thing in men is amazing! I live on very little input - very few people tell me what a great job I am doing. Most of the time I don't need others to acknowledge what I do or what a great job I do - it just needs to be done so you do it. I don't ask for a lot of special treatment. But my husband can't get enough! I now understand why women work...it's a place where you go and people recognize you for your brains and the accomplishments you make in a day are measurable. That's why I go to school - only, right now, I don't have a lot of academic confidence. Kind of frustrating - I'm making good grades and still don't have a lot of confidence.
Oh well. I have classes tomorrow - a Spanish test that I'm a little worried about - my other classes have demanded so much of my time that I'm a little worried that I'm not real clear on a few things. I will study some more tonight, in the morning and then at my break mid-morning right before I go to Spanish.
Ciao.
nbb
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Friends and Family
A Note from my beautiful daughter:
visits from family and friends
I drove to my parents' house in Roswell on Friday afternoon, after I finished a group meeting, to spend some time with my family and our long-time friends, the Thomases, before I head to New Orleans for Fall Break on Wednesdays. We've known the Thomas family FOREVER--George, the dad, was my first soccer coach and the man who fought for and won permission for me to play with the boys until we left Minnesota. Dylan, the oldest Thomas son, was my soccer partner and best friend. Kris, the momma, used to braid my hair (my momma didn't know how), because she didn't have any daughters. Ryan, the second oldest son, was Hobo's best friend. And Alex, their youngest son (who accompanied George and Kris to Roswell for the weekend) was a few years behind Hurricane but--thanks to Dylan and Ryan--capable of holding his own with the older kids. For years, they lived around the corner from my family in the small Minnesota town, Eden Prairie, where I grew up. They moved to Winona, Minnesota (where Daddy and George had gone to college) sometime shortly after my family moved to Arizona...and every summer, when my daddy's best college buddies gather with their wives/husbands/children for a weekend reunion (called GOOF--Get-together Of Old Friends), the Thomases host a huge backyard bbq in their home.
Seeing my parents around their closest friends is one of the most relaxing, comforting environments I've ever stepped foot into. The hustle and bustle of daily life stops, and suddenly everybody is slow and calm. The liquor starts flowing early, and it doesn't stop until the last friend standing has finally agreed to go to sleep. Nobody bothers to cook--instead, food is heaped in incredible quantities and varieties upon the kitchen counters, and everyone fixes what they want, when they want. Things like stuffed olives, crackers and cheese, tabbouleh and tapenade, hummus and hunks of fresh bread, become the mainstay of our time together. Daddy loosens up enough to swear and talk about all the things he never talks about. Music plays nonstop on the little speakers set up around our house, and it becomes a game to guess who is singing, the name of the song, and whether or not the song was originally written (or recorded) by somebody else. Stacks of books line the coffee tables, and every once in a while somebody will collapse on the couch and start flipping pages. My puppy goes wild with affection, taking nibbles cautiously dropped from generous kitchen-going fingertips. And in this time of year, there's always a fire--and though it's too cold for comfort outside, it seems so much warmer and brighter with all the company around.
I've grown up around my parents' friends. Summers, weekend trips, nearby neighbors, phone calls on a Sunday evening...they are a constant presence in my life, hovering and telling jokes, keeping everyone together, smoothing out the wrinkles and the stress of daily life. At any given moment, I have 20 sets of parents to fall back on, and so many "brothers" and "sisters" that it's impossible to count. I'm the second-oldest of this entire, long-standing crew...and it's incredible to have watched SO many kids grow up and change and become the people they are today. Throughout my entire life, I've never wished for a stable, solid romantic relationship--but instead I've searched for these types of friendships, for the people who will sit around with you all day--who will get hammered at funerals with you and cry by your side--who will yell at my nonexistant children when they make mistakes--who will visit my children (even if they don't know them well) and tip them when they're waiting tables in New Orleans all summer.
Thank you Lesley for your beautiful thoughts and insights. I love you.
visits from family and friends
I drove to my parents' house in Roswell on Friday afternoon, after I finished a group meeting, to spend some time with my family and our long-time friends, the Thomases, before I head to New Orleans for Fall Break on Wednesdays. We've known the Thomas family FOREVER--George, the dad, was my first soccer coach and the man who fought for and won permission for me to play with the boys until we left Minnesota. Dylan, the oldest Thomas son, was my soccer partner and best friend. Kris, the momma, used to braid my hair (my momma didn't know how), because she didn't have any daughters. Ryan, the second oldest son, was Hobo's best friend. And Alex, their youngest son (who accompanied George and Kris to Roswell for the weekend) was a few years behind Hurricane but--thanks to Dylan and Ryan--capable of holding his own with the older kids. For years, they lived around the corner from my family in the small Minnesota town, Eden Prairie, where I grew up. They moved to Winona, Minnesota (where Daddy and George had gone to college) sometime shortly after my family moved to Arizona...and every summer, when my daddy's best college buddies gather with their wives/husbands/children for a weekend reunion (called GOOF--Get-together Of Old Friends), the Thomases host a huge backyard bbq in their home.
Seeing my parents around their closest friends is one of the most relaxing, comforting environments I've ever stepped foot into. The hustle and bustle of daily life stops, and suddenly everybody is slow and calm. The liquor starts flowing early, and it doesn't stop until the last friend standing has finally agreed to go to sleep. Nobody bothers to cook--instead, food is heaped in incredible quantities and varieties upon the kitchen counters, and everyone fixes what they want, when they want. Things like stuffed olives, crackers and cheese, tabbouleh and tapenade, hummus and hunks of fresh bread, become the mainstay of our time together. Daddy loosens up enough to swear and talk about all the things he never talks about. Music plays nonstop on the little speakers set up around our house, and it becomes a game to guess who is singing, the name of the song, and whether or not the song was originally written (or recorded) by somebody else. Stacks of books line the coffee tables, and every once in a while somebody will collapse on the couch and start flipping pages. My puppy goes wild with affection, taking nibbles cautiously dropped from generous kitchen-going fingertips. And in this time of year, there's always a fire--and though it's too cold for comfort outside, it seems so much warmer and brighter with all the company around.
I've grown up around my parents' friends. Summers, weekend trips, nearby neighbors, phone calls on a Sunday evening...they are a constant presence in my life, hovering and telling jokes, keeping everyone together, smoothing out the wrinkles and the stress of daily life. At any given moment, I have 20 sets of parents to fall back on, and so many "brothers" and "sisters" that it's impossible to count. I'm the second-oldest of this entire, long-standing crew...and it's incredible to have watched SO many kids grow up and change and become the people they are today. Throughout my entire life, I've never wished for a stable, solid romantic relationship--but instead I've searched for these types of friendships, for the people who will sit around with you all day--who will get hammered at funerals with you and cry by your side--who will yell at my nonexistant children when they make mistakes--who will visit my children (even if they don't know them well) and tip them when they're waiting tables in New Orleans all summer.
Thank you Lesley for your beautiful thoughts and insights. I love you.
I am writing papers today. A foreign policy brief on Venezuela - three issues: the situation in the Middle EAst, the situation in Darfur and UN counterterrorism. I researched and researched and found nothing concrete on anything except Venezuela's involvement with counterterrorism issues. I guess I was thinking that there would be a written policy statement - we from Venezuela feel this way about the Middle EAst and Darfur...no such luck. Plus, I was having a very difficult time trying to decide what tone I wanted to take...take Chavez's tone which I think is extremely cocky or take the tone of a foreign policy expert - I chose a middle ground and had to guess on how and what Venezuela's policies were on the issues.
Now I am working on another paper - a review of an article on Human Rights. I really enjoy working on these kinds of papers. It is nice to be intellectually challenged.
Cold weather here today - I stayed in most of the day - had a day off from classes and spent it, writing papers...
Got a little work-out in this afternoon - a little bike and an hour of weights. Sometimes, it is so hard to lift weights - sometimes they are just so heavy.
Tonight Andy and his band Odds and Ends, had their first public concert. It was at Pope and a fund raiser for the foreign language department. Andy said they played great and that everyone in the crowd thought they were great. Andy plays bass and he is good. These are his best friends and they happen to be fairly talented musicians. It is fun to watch them. I told him I didn't want him to forget how he felt tonight - to remember his first gig for a long time. I also asked him how the kids responded to them all after they were finished. He said it was really neat - the kids kept coming up to him. It will be challenging to keep his feet solidly on the ground. He enjoys the music so much!
I am going to make a new post here that is a copy of what my daughter wrote about our friends coming to visit.
Nancy
Now I am working on another paper - a review of an article on Human Rights. I really enjoy working on these kinds of papers. It is nice to be intellectually challenged.
Cold weather here today - I stayed in most of the day - had a day off from classes and spent it, writing papers...
Got a little work-out in this afternoon - a little bike and an hour of weights. Sometimes, it is so hard to lift weights - sometimes they are just so heavy.
Tonight Andy and his band Odds and Ends, had their first public concert. It was at Pope and a fund raiser for the foreign language department. Andy said they played great and that everyone in the crowd thought they were great. Andy plays bass and he is good. These are his best friends and they happen to be fairly talented musicians. It is fun to watch them. I told him I didn't want him to forget how he felt tonight - to remember his first gig for a long time. I also asked him how the kids responded to them all after they were finished. He said it was really neat - the kids kept coming up to him. It will be challenging to keep his feet solidly on the ground. He enjoys the music so much!
I am going to make a new post here that is a copy of what my daughter wrote about our friends coming to visit.
Nancy
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Bono and Product RED
Product RED
I am still trying to come down from the Bono high from yesterday. Yesterday was the launch date in the United States for Product RED - something many I have been waiting for and waiting for...
I stopped in my local and favorite Gap store and they had the RED products on the front table as you entered the store. I picked up a few t-shirts - took them to the dressing room t0 check for fit. Engaged the fitting room girls in a chat about Product RED - asked them if they were familiar with the product, what could they tell me - I WAS SURPRISED!!!!!!! They actually had a clue! While they weren't completely as well versed as others (like me) they were fairly articulate and, more important, excited.
When I was checking out one of the adult sales ladies approached me and wanted to talk with me about the product. Again, I was fairly impressed with her knowledge of the product and the initiative it supported - I had to help her a little bit on the issues of the global fund, but I didn't mind.
So, I hurried home, set the VCR, turned on televisions all over the house so I wouldn't miss a thing (you know just in case I had to run to the bathroom and couldn't wait until commercial)...got the hubby to turn on the big screen in the basement so I could turn it up really loud and watch with abandon...
This man Bono, really touches my heart. I cried through parts of the show...laughed out loud at some parts of the show...was completely touched by the whole show. He has one of the biggest hearts (outside of my hubby) I have ever seen and he wears it with abandon on his sleeve. I read somewhere that he said he covers his eyes because that is his way to privacy - not letting people see into the mirrors of his soul. Yet, his heart is out there - maybe that's why he needs to shade his eyes. He was so good with Oprah - she ran the show and he went along with it - but, I think she was completely in awe of this man as well.
What still amazes me is that I don't understand why Bono is able to get to me like he does. Why do I care what he is involved in, why do I get weak kneed, why does my stomach twist and turn into knots, wy do I trust him? It's weird. I'm a pretty private person - bloggings a big huge adventure for me, me really going out on a limb. Yet, someone I don't know (an Irish rock star of all things), will probably never really have a chance to get to know (oh to be rich and famous right now) has really forced me to rethink a lot of things in my life. Why this person? I will admit, before I would allow myself to get too involved, I spent a lot of time doing research - reading, looking, listening - really trying to find the inconsistencies, the flaws that would make me not trust him. Yet, what I have found is a man, with flaws, who appears to be one of the most genuine people around - a man who values the same things I do: friends, family. Yet he still remains an enigma to me - which is the most beautiful inconsistency of all - his rock and roll lifestyle and his way of life. Somehow, he and his family live a great life filled with love, family and friends, never lose their humility and maintain their integrity and high standards.
Anyway, I really enjoyed seeing, hearing - the interactions, the subtleties of his smile and his eyes, his thoughtfulness - his heart! The way he was holding hands with Oprah, the appreciation for the people who came out to see him. Truly a wonderful man and that makes me proud!!!!!
Nancy
I am still trying to come down from the Bono high from yesterday. Yesterday was the launch date in the United States for Product RED - something many I have been waiting for and waiting for...
I stopped in my local and favorite Gap store and they had the RED products on the front table as you entered the store. I picked up a few t-shirts - took them to the dressing room t0 check for fit. Engaged the fitting room girls in a chat about Product RED - asked them if they were familiar with the product, what could they tell me - I WAS SURPRISED!!!!!!! They actually had a clue! While they weren't completely as well versed as others (like me) they were fairly articulate and, more important, excited.
When I was checking out one of the adult sales ladies approached me and wanted to talk with me about the product. Again, I was fairly impressed with her knowledge of the product and the initiative it supported - I had to help her a little bit on the issues of the global fund, but I didn't mind.
So, I hurried home, set the VCR, turned on televisions all over the house so I wouldn't miss a thing (you know just in case I had to run to the bathroom and couldn't wait until commercial)...got the hubby to turn on the big screen in the basement so I could turn it up really loud and watch with abandon...
This man Bono, really touches my heart. I cried through parts of the show...laughed out loud at some parts of the show...was completely touched by the whole show. He has one of the biggest hearts (outside of my hubby) I have ever seen and he wears it with abandon on his sleeve. I read somewhere that he said he covers his eyes because that is his way to privacy - not letting people see into the mirrors of his soul. Yet, his heart is out there - maybe that's why he needs to shade his eyes. He was so good with Oprah - she ran the show and he went along with it - but, I think she was completely in awe of this man as well.
What still amazes me is that I don't understand why Bono is able to get to me like he does. Why do I care what he is involved in, why do I get weak kneed, why does my stomach twist and turn into knots, wy do I trust him? It's weird. I'm a pretty private person - bloggings a big huge adventure for me, me really going out on a limb. Yet, someone I don't know (an Irish rock star of all things), will probably never really have a chance to get to know (oh to be rich and famous right now) has really forced me to rethink a lot of things in my life. Why this person? I will admit, before I would allow myself to get too involved, I spent a lot of time doing research - reading, looking, listening - really trying to find the inconsistencies, the flaws that would make me not trust him. Yet, what I have found is a man, with flaws, who appears to be one of the most genuine people around - a man who values the same things I do: friends, family. Yet he still remains an enigma to me - which is the most beautiful inconsistency of all - his rock and roll lifestyle and his way of life. Somehow, he and his family live a great life filled with love, family and friends, never lose their humility and maintain their integrity and high standards.
Anyway, I really enjoyed seeing, hearing - the interactions, the subtleties of his smile and his eyes, his thoughtfulness - his heart! The way he was holding hands with Oprah, the appreciation for the people who came out to see him. Truly a wonderful man and that makes me proud!!!!!
Nancy
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Sunday, October 8, 2006
I just logged on and saw the blog of note Three Beautiful Things. It was a neat blog - I like the idea of focusing on at least three things every day that inspire or move you. I think someties we get so used to talking about all the not so beautiful issues of every day life that we forget the celebrations of our everyday life.
Today:
1. I slept late - all the way until 8:00 - no one else's alarms going off, no rush to get up...it was wonderful! I haven't slept like that in a few weeks.
2. Had a great shower - the kind I get after a great work out, a great breakfast and the knowledge that I have the rest of the day ahead of me.
3. Beautiful fall day in the south - the maple trees are just starting to change, the air is fresh - not too humid.
Homework looming.
Nancy
Credit to Clare - Three Beautiful Things
Today:
1. I slept late - all the way until 8:00 - no one else's alarms going off, no rush to get up...it was wonderful! I haven't slept like that in a few weeks.
2. Had a great shower - the kind I get after a great work out, a great breakfast and the knowledge that I have the rest of the day ahead of me.
3. Beautiful fall day in the south - the maple trees are just starting to change, the air is fresh - not too humid.
Homework looming.
Nancy
Credit to Clare - Three Beautiful Things
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Okay, I'm a Nerd
My geekiness is reaching full flight right now:
My first Economist, from my new student subscription, arrived in the mail today! I was giddy with excitement!
My Power Point presentation that is due next week on the Democratization of the Czech Republic - is ready. We have to do an oral presentation on Thursday...7 minutes presenting our findings. This is the first half of a research project in Comparative Politics - we are comparingthe democratization of a country of our choice (Czech Republic) to the potential for the democratization of Iraq. What a fascinating topic! My geekiness shows on my dining room table - research from the United National Human Development Reports, from the CIA, from the Czech Republic government website, the US Department of State, even Wikipedia.
I am finally being challenged academically - in my Poli Sci Classes - Comparative Politics and International Law and Organizations - I couldn't be having more fun!
One more example of my nerdiness: In my Comparative Politics class, our professor - one of the elite professors...carries a pocket copy of the Constitution of the United States. In class on Thursday, he was trying to link up from our class internet connection with the Declaration of Human Rights. The link wasn't working so I reached in my backpack and pulled out my copy of the Declaration of Human Rights!!!!! The pocket version!!!! We were all laughing at our extreme nerdiness!!!!! I told my professor I would let him look at it, but he had to be gentle!!!!!
Atlanta ONE is having an event tonight at my neighborhood clubhouse...with are welcoming Heifer International, one of our partners, for an educational evening!!!!!!!! I made the tortilla roll-ups. If we get some good photos, I will post them - maybe I can get them posted on the one.org website!!!!!!
Next week is the AIDS Walk Atlanta - we have been invited to join CARE and Dr. Helene Gayle - we will not only have a table but a 10x10 TENT!!! CARE is going to give us t-shirts, wristbands, declarations - I can't tell you how much easier it makes our jobs to particpate in events when you have partners who actually have budgets, etc.
Love and peace everyone!
My first Economist, from my new student subscription, arrived in the mail today! I was giddy with excitement!
My Power Point presentation that is due next week on the Democratization of the Czech Republic - is ready. We have to do an oral presentation on Thursday...7 minutes presenting our findings. This is the first half of a research project in Comparative Politics - we are comparingthe democratization of a country of our choice (Czech Republic) to the potential for the democratization of Iraq. What a fascinating topic! My geekiness shows on my dining room table - research from the United National Human Development Reports, from the CIA, from the Czech Republic government website, the US Department of State, even Wikipedia.
I am finally being challenged academically - in my Poli Sci Classes - Comparative Politics and International Law and Organizations - I couldn't be having more fun!
One more example of my nerdiness: In my Comparative Politics class, our professor - one of the elite professors...carries a pocket copy of the Constitution of the United States. In class on Thursday, he was trying to link up from our class internet connection with the Declaration of Human Rights. The link wasn't working so I reached in my backpack and pulled out my copy of the Declaration of Human Rights!!!!! The pocket version!!!! We were all laughing at our extreme nerdiness!!!!! I told my professor I would let him look at it, but he had to be gentle!!!!!
Atlanta ONE is having an event tonight at my neighborhood clubhouse...with are welcoming Heifer International, one of our partners, for an educational evening!!!!!!!! I made the tortilla roll-ups. If we get some good photos, I will post them - maybe I can get them posted on the one.org website!!!!!!
Next week is the AIDS Walk Atlanta - we have been invited to join CARE and Dr. Helene Gayle - we will not only have a table but a 10x10 TENT!!! CARE is going to give us t-shirts, wristbands, declarations - I can't tell you how much easier it makes our jobs to particpate in events when you have partners who actually have budgets, etc.
Love and peace everyone!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
